Stoicism and its importance in my life

A few years ago I found the work of Robert Greene. I have become a very large fan. Some writers have a greater impact than others on our lives. His work “The Laws of Human Nature” had quite a large impact on me. Still does.

Knowing why people do things, their motivations behind their actions and identifiable body language that can give clues to what people are feeling. These are things discussed at great length, with examples, in the work.

I had always felt that a great weakness of mine was the ability to read people. Whenever there is a weakness in my life, discovered either by self-awareness or is pointed out to me. I rarely get offended, and just see it as an opportunity to grow as a person. If you can put ego to one side you can really take valuable things from the lessons that life hands us.

I have thought about this a great deal lately. that there appears to be two types of people generally. People who get offended when their shortcomings are pointed out to them and people who take something from it.

Through the work of Robert Greene I also found the author Ryan Holiday. His work “The Obstacle is the Way” is a modern day adaption of the philosophy of Stoicism. A philosophy I have always liked and studied. I have always been drawn to outlooks that cherish the difficult and hard. Turning hard times and difficulties into a positive result. Some of the worst and hardest experiences that I have encountered in life I now cherish. They have actually turned out to be some of the best moments I can remember.

The ability to turn the harshest lessons into good things is almost a superpower in the modern world. In the modern world you require very little resilience to even be above average in this area. I have noticed that people shy away from any kind of discomfort or difficulty. Ryan (and Robert) would argue that you should actually dive into these situations head-first and see what you can take from the experience.

All this may seem irrelevant to plein-air painting. It is actually a core aspect of my work. When I begun painting outdoors, a naturally shy person (always was) I found sitting out in public drawing/painting a particularly challenging activity. For some reason though, even with my early attempts being not of great quality, I kept going out. I tried to get people to come out with me, via sketching groups I had joined. People didn’t turn up or gave excuses, which at the immediate time hurt. Something happened though when I continued to go out anyway. The need for other people’s participation or approval of what I was doing faded. This was a big thing for me. I had also hoped to meet a girl as part of it (joining an art group or go dancing is always standard advice!). In the process of learning to paint outdoors, I actually found love somewhere else than I expected. I could not function in life without going out to paint now. I do some of my best thinking whilst painting and actually have found it to be a kind of therapy. I actually miss the days when going out seemed like such a challenge. There was a certain amount of excitement involved.

I have encountered both threats of violence and actual violence. I have encountered legal battles with organisations (the Bullring for example) and had that many disagreements as to the legality of painting out in public, that I have forgotten many of them. Looking back at the drawings/paintings sometimes brings back forgotten incidents.

I wouldn’t want to remove any of them from my experience. Every one of them has contributed to getting me to where I am. Wherever that is it is closer to where I want to get than where I started. I cannot wait to experience other hard/difficult/trying situations. Avoidance is just delaying the pain, not removing it. That might be a quote that gets attributed to me one day :)

Atomic Habits……..

I’ve always worried about my levels of productivity. I genuinely struggle to sit and watch TV. Many people seem to think (and tell me) that I am very productive. I don’t know why I worry about it, as it isn’t a thing I have a great amount of regard for. I don’t think I have ever said “I really like that person as they are really productive!”. Amongst other jobs I currently have on, I started to consider the job of scanning a decade’s work. I’m excited about seeing many paintings/drawings that I have forgotten, but it is going to be quite the task. Unless I make the task enjoyable, and writing is certainly is becoming part of that, it is something I will never actually take on. Timing is a big part of most big projects/tasks/life changes/decisions.

I read a book “Atomic Habits” at some point in the last few years and the one thing I took away from the book is that I was already doing (and have always done) all the recommended actions. The central premise is that by doing small actions, regularly, you achieve a great deal. I have always liked to have lots of activity to think about simultaneously. I am sure I have some branch of neurodiversity, but I appear to be able to focus mine, which is something. I often get accused of not listening, but what is actually happening is often I am thinking very deeply about 4 or 5 things simultaneously. I now listen to audio books whilst doing other tasks. You can focus on many things simultaneously with practice. You just might come across as rude at times.

Small consistent action is far better than trying to take on too much and ending up overwhelmed or exhausted. That achieves little and is actually counter-productive. This is also why I am attempting to blog daily now. The writing will be poor, when I revisit it. My understanding is that better writing is brief and to the point. Until you start though, which is the barrier for most people, you will not have anything to work with. It is exactly the same as any skill. Writing is also a way to clarify thinking. It is why I used to keep a journal. The adage about 10,000 hours is yet to be disproven to me.

As part of the scanning and organising, many drawings/paintings will be disposed of (recycled where possible). I suppose you could refer to them as mistakes now.

I’m normally an insanely organised person, with all things just not in this case. Someone at work commented that I shouldn’t keep working the same size with my art. I don’t think they realised that I usually have at least 10 books on the go at the same time. This is both true with painting and reading.The sheer amount of hours I have spent drawing, painting and studying other people’s art must be staggering. I was always interested in the process of observing and then converting into a flat image the world around us and our perception of it. My actual interest began when Channel 4 aired Alwyn Crawshaw’s “A Brush with Art”. I remember reading a review on Amazon for the DVD version stating that “Alwyn only teaches you his way to paint”. This is a criticism which I still fail to understand. How can someone teach you how to paint in someone else’s technique? You can only learn things yourself. Occassionally someone can teach you a tip or trick, but you are on your own.

The most crucial standout part of my desire to do art was when I had a art teacher tell me to give up as I was never going to be any good at art. My brother and father were known to be creative and skilled in art. The comparison was never in a good way, from my perspective. I still find it interesting that a person supposed to be in the capacity of encouraging learning only achieved it with me by telling me I was no good at it. I guess I use a lot of energy proving people wrong in life. It worked regardless.

When I started going out to paint regularly, I was trying all the things that I saw others doing as a methodology. I tried drawing in biro, on specific papers, with rulers, etc. None worked, but it is all part of the process of learning. It actually is the quickest route to finding what doesn’t work. I suppose this is what people find in dating and love as well. Never having had a great deal of experience with such things I can only guess. I spent a lot of my 20s caring for elderly relatives and spending a lot of time alone. At the time this seemed hard but it has made me into the person that I now am. Everything teaches us lessons, even the hard things (especially actually). If we can put our ego aside and accept the learning, no matter how hard the lesson.

Looking back at all the small obsessions, various routes, deadends, encounters you begin to realise that they all contribute. Some people would consider them mistakes now, which they are, but they are crucial to the journey. I expect to make many mistakes in the upcoming months, and I have absolutely no issue in making them. Quite excited about them actually.

There always exists many famous quotes that can sum up a concept or a point of view in a short succinct manner. The most fitting one I could find was from the famous Bob Ross. Which disappoints me a little.

“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents!”.

When I am learning I feel alive!

The most important, or enjoyable, part of my life has always been learning new things. For as long as I can remember. The excitement I feel when embarking on any new project or aspect of something I have already studied is a real high for me.

About a year ago, I realised that I was quite clueless about body language. I spend most of my free time observing and looking at things, so why not apply it to human behaviour. I stumbled across Robert Greene’s “The Laws of Human Nature”. It was brilliant and remains one of my favourite books. The bit that stayed with me was the chapter on Anton Chekhov, when he suffered a case of Tuberculosis which left him to suffer terrible weakness and long periods of convalescence. During this time he would observe people rather than talk and developed a great understanding of human nature. This is something I do, without the tuberculosis. I became obsessed.

This has happened time and time again in my life. It is a strange phenomena that I don’t question. I think whatever neurodiversity I suffer I am able to channel it to a laser like focus. I think I’m just a bit ultra-tidy as a downside. Although there are worse habits.

For example, yesterday evening when not fixing a bidet, I was reading up and researching on Giclee prints (something which I am still unsure on the pronunciation) both via a 3rd party and yourself, common frame sizes (so when people order prints it is easy to get a frame), greetings/occassion cards (something which I rarely buy, I have always made them for people), and many other aspects of starting a business selling art. This has always been the exciting part for me. When I have things to learn, which there are still many.

Making mistakes has never been an issue either. I see some people obsessed with previous errors, which they never really move on from. Lucky for me my brain seems wired in a way that when I have something new to learn/do/of interest. All the previous stuff just fades.

The Underselling of Original Art

Whilst setting up the website, and also living my life, which has been busy so far this year. I had a request for a painting of the building where I work, the Medical School (University of Birmingham). I generally get to work very early, so one morning I did the painting. Anyway, fast forward to when the painting was required, and the question came up regarding the cost of the work. I said to the person “just pay what you think”. This resulted in a very low payment. Not because they didn’t like the work, but because they had no idea of the value of original artwork. I have since become a bit obsessed with the price of works.

So I did what every person in the modern world does and asked AI.

AI Overview of Original Art costs (Screen Snip)

Then I started falling down the rabbit-hole of asking AI more questions about UK art pricing.

AI Overview of Underpricing of Art in the UK

More and more I went down the rabbit hole, and it’s unlikely I will be interested in much else now for a period of time.

AI Cost Calculator for Original Art

I have previous worked in the industry, working with wood rather than paintings.

Some recent changes in my life has made me contemplate some wider things. I plan to really go down this rabbit hole, and get my works ready for sale. I think I have had enough of a break from the industry to step back in.

To be continued…..

Selfies have never been a thing I’ve done, except with paint….

I’ve never been someone who has been comfortable with my own image. Well, not until recently. I took to painting self-portraits, primarily as there is no one else around to paint when you live alone. It makes you really look at yourself and study parts of what makes your face different. The massive scar down on my left cheek, due to a stabbing incident, is a fairly unusual thing to have.

I have always loved drawing faces, and when I am out and about and drawing them, I tend to simplify, and just try to capture what is the essence of someone. Saying that, I don’t spend a great deal more time on “portraits”. This one took me longer to get the masking tape of the roll for the border, than to do the actual painting.

Strangely they bring me peace. These days, I quite like the way I look. Covering most of my face with a fairly substantial beard may aid in that.

Pencil Selfie

Introduction, new website and style as a concept….

For some time now, I’ve been attempting to build a website. I was previously using Wix, and contrary to what others have said, I found it unusable. I used to use Squarespace when I had a woodturning business and have always got on with the way it handles. It just always felt more natural and intuitive.

A bit like finding your style as an artist, it shouldn’t really be a conscious choice, I believe. It should be natural and organic. The irony was I found my style when I stopped trying to develop one. Everything that occurs naturally, works out better. As someone who is 100% logical, it’s hard to follow the heart at times.

And as is apparent, I’ve never written a blog before, but as with all things (I believe) it’s best to throw yourself out the plane and learn how to fly on the way down. Plus I’ve always been terrible at researching and preparing. I generally am winging things.

I’ve always been a runner, and during the setting up and designing of the new site this week, I’ve taken it back up fully, and even though you are supposed to have a rest day, I’ve failed to yet.

The writing can only improve, and it will. I’ve always been comfortable being a bit rubbish at things, and then learning fast. I do believe I have never had any natural talent, in anything. I truly believe I just develop and learn quickly.

Still, the ball is actually rolling now. I’ve just got a decades worth of images to upload and a decent giclee printing service to locate. Samples are on their way to my flat as we speak. Where Royal Mail deliver them, is another matter.