Atomic Habits……..

I’ve always worried about my levels of productivity. I genuinely struggle to sit and watch TV. Many people seem to think (and tell me) that I am very productive. I don’t know why I worry about it, as it isn’t a thing I have a great amount of regard for. I don’t think I have ever said “I really like that person as they are really productive!”. Amongst other jobs I currently have on, I started to consider the job of scanning a decade’s work. I’m excited about seeing many paintings/drawings that I have forgotten, but it is going to be quite the task. Unless I make the task enjoyable, and writing is certainly is becoming part of that, it is something I will never actually take on. Timing is a big part of most big projects/tasks/life changes/decisions.

I read a book “Atomic Habits” at some point in the last few years and the one thing I took away from the book is that I was already doing (and have always done) all the recommended actions. The central premise is that by doing small actions, regularly, you achieve a great deal. I have always liked to have lots of activity to think about simultaneously. I am sure I have some branch of neurodiversity, but I appear to be able to focus mine, which is something. I often get accused of not listening, but what is actually happening is often I am thinking very deeply about 4 or 5 things simultaneously. I now listen to audio books whilst doing other tasks. You can focus on many things simultaneously with practice. You just might come across as rude at times.

Small consistent action is far better than trying to take on too much and ending up overwhelmed or exhausted. That achieves little and is actually counter-productive. This is also why I am attempting to blog daily now. The writing will be poor, when I revisit it. My understanding is that better writing is brief and to the point. Until you start though, which is the barrier for most people, you will not have anything to work with. It is exactly the same as any skill. Writing is also a way to clarify thinking. It is why I used to keep a journal. The adage about 10,000 hours is yet to be disproven to me.

As part of the scanning and organising, many drawings/paintings will be disposed of (recycled where possible). I suppose you could refer to them as mistakes now.

I’m normally an insanely organised person, with all things just not in this case. Someone at work commented that I shouldn’t keep working the same size with my art. I don’t think they realised that I usually have at least 10 books on the go at the same time. This is both true with painting and reading.The sheer amount of hours I have spent drawing, painting and studying other people’s art must be staggering. I was always interested in the process of observing and then converting into a flat image the world around us and our perception of it. My actual interest began when Channel 4 aired Alwyn Crawshaw’s “A Brush with Art”. I remember reading a review on Amazon for the DVD version stating that “Alwyn only teaches you his way to paint”. This is a criticism which I still fail to understand. How can someone teach you how to paint in someone else’s technique? You can only learn things yourself. Occassionally someone can teach you a tip or trick, but you are on your own.

The most crucial standout part of my desire to do art was when I had a art teacher tell me to give up as I was never going to be any good at art. My brother and father were known to be creative and skilled in art. The comparison was never in a good way, from my perspective. I still find it interesting that a person supposed to be in the capacity of encouraging learning only achieved it with me by telling me I was no good at it. I guess I use a lot of energy proving people wrong in life. It worked regardless.

When I started going out to paint regularly, I was trying all the things that I saw others doing as a methodology. I tried drawing in biro, on specific papers, with rulers, etc. None worked, but it is all part of the process of learning. It actually is the quickest route to finding what doesn’t work. I suppose this is what people find in dating and love as well. Never having had a great deal of experience with such things I can only guess. I spent a lot of my 20s caring for elderly relatives and spending a lot of time alone. At the time this seemed hard but it has made me into the person that I now am. Everything teaches us lessons, even the hard things (especially actually). If we can put our ego aside and accept the learning, no matter how hard the lesson.

Looking back at all the small obsessions, various routes, deadends, encounters you begin to realise that they all contribute. Some people would consider them mistakes now, which they are, but they are crucial to the journey. I expect to make many mistakes in the upcoming months, and I have absolutely no issue in making them. Quite excited about them actually.

There always exists many famous quotes that can sum up a concept or a point of view in a short succinct manner. The most fitting one I could find was from the famous Bob Ross. Which disappoints me a little.

“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents!”.